[JennyD]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

I'm not exactly sure how that would increase global warming.

Perhaps you could expand upon that?

[Mr. Jingles]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

By not recycling, we have to drill for more oil & do more mining, all of which emit smoke into the air. This warms the planet up & helps melt those unsightly polar caps. By endagering the earth this way, we are helping to usher in the end of days & bring Jesus back.

[JennyD]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

By not recycling, we have to drill for more oil & do more mining, all of which emit smoke into the air. This warms the planet up & helps melt those unsightly polar caps. By endagering the earth this way, we are helping to usher in the end of days & bring Jesus back.

Drilling for oil makes smoke? I had no idea!

See, here I thought that by not recycling, we had to expend more energy to keep making more bottles (for example), much of which comes from coal-fired power plants, which release carbon dioxide into the air.

Now, I know that drilling for oil is the problem, all the smoke it creates warms the earth.

Damn that Al Gore, confusing me with his Inconvenient Truth jibber jabber!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

This may sound counter intuitive but hear me out.

The fastest way to heat the planet is to clean up the air. Yes, go buy a half-breed car. Join the tree huggers and demand cleaner energy.

You see clean air lets in more light than dirty air. Dirty air reflects the suns rays back into space. Clean air lets more rays in that hit the earth and reflect back into the atmosphere as heat. Some of the coldest decades ever recorded have been after a major volcanic eruption (think Krakatoa) when incalculable amounts of particulate pollution were released into the air.

The unintended consequence of the tree hugger's efforts to clean up the smoke choked polluted air of the industrial revolution is global warming!

Glory be! It's those tree hugging atheists that are bringing the Final Days nearer! The irony of it all!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[crazy eddie]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

Does buying an entire rain forest for fire wood count? Those pesky rain forest suck up the bad air and give off good. That's against God's plan for destruction of the evil ones.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

Does buying an entire rain forest for fire wood count? Those pesky rain forest suck up the bad air and give off good. That's against God's plan for destruction of the evil ones.

Well crazy, you hit on something there. The counterpoint to increased sun rays hitting the ground caused by cleaner air are the "Green House" gasses most notably carbon dioxide. While cutting down a few extra rain forests would diminish the release of oxygen, a more prudent way to increase global warming would be to increase Carbon Dioxide production. How do we do this?

Breed more cows and any other animals that both breathe and produce methane gas. (Hey those would be little Soldiers for Christ too!) Contrary to popular opinion, cars and electric plants are not the largest producers of green house gasses. The title goes to living creatures.

Now of course the way to STOP global warming is to burn everything you can get your hands on and then shoot everything that moves.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[ChristianInNC]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

burn everything you can get your hands on and then shoot everything that moves.

Brother, Jesus himself would give a to that bumper sticker!

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

I figure I'm doing my part by burning up all the old tractor tires that have piled up on my farm over the years. I see those thick, black plumes of smoke float into the air and I just smile.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

[JennyD]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

I'll be skipping the Commie-invented "Earth Hour" on Saturday, March 28 (8:30 to 9:30), when the World Wildlife Fund and other leftists want us all to shut off our lights for an hour and sit in the dark, in shame.

Instead, I'm going to participate in Human Achievement Hour!

As CEI analyst Michelle Minton explains on OpenMarket.org, the Human Achievement Hour - 8:30pm to 9:30pm on Saturday, March 28 - calls on people to "celebrate the achievements of humanity by eating dinner, seeing a film, driving around, keeping the heat on in your home-all things that Earth Hour celebrators, presumably, should be refraining from." The main philosophy of Human Achievement Hour is to celebrate the products of mens' minds and to oppose environmentalism that would have government prevent individuals from achieving in the future.

[the know nothing]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

What Can True Christians™ Do to Help Speed Up Global Warming So Jesus Comes Back Quicker?

Sermon by Pastor Deacon Fred

As True Bible believing Christians™, we have a much better understanding about the fate of this planet than any Biologist, Environmentalist, or so-called scientist because we have a personal relationship with the Fellow who created this whole place to begin with! Friends, as True Christians™ then, being familiar with the Holy Bible gives you more authority than anyone who holds a post-graduate degree! That's something to be proud of - don't wince about it! And don't let people call you crazy! God's Holy Scriptures give the poorest farmer's servant in our congregation the power to win an argument with a Bio-Chemist, or a Nuclear Physicist - without even knowing a lick about what them folks studied in their fancy secular universities! What these ignorant unsaved, over-educated folks don't understand is that they can gather all the data, all the research and present all the facts they care to collect about any subject under the sun - but when you hold it next to child-like faith in the Almighty God, the most learned Evolutionist or Environmentalist, will widen their blind eyes in awe, and cower in fear at the truth of God's Word! Praise Jesus! For the simple truth, we need only look to our old children's Sunday School song, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands!" Oh, GLORY!

All this hub-bub about conserving energy, and protecting the environment is enough to make me want to pull my hair out! How about you? Why should we give a lick if our thermometers are edging up a bit, when the Lord promised He is going to turn the whole dang planet into a fire ball any minute now? Who is going to protect the ice cubes in Greenland then, my friends? Satan is sending out a false anxiety, and misdirected mass-hysteria about the environment! The roots of these phony fears are planted deeply into so-called "facts" which sprout from poisonous seeds between the hot-rocks scattered across the sandy shores of the Lake of Fire. Its Satan's way of slapping Jesus in the face while he still has a chance! A-men? The only fact these folks should really be afraid of is the fact that if they don't believe in Jesus Christ, that our loving God is going to roast them alive in Hell for eternity! Now, if you ask me - I'd be much more concerned about what is going to happen to me for eternity than I am about what's going to happen to me in the next few years! A-men?

God teaches us in the Bible that "thinking" and "worrying" is an absolute waste of time!　



Anyone who has read the Bible and believes every word will agree that worrying about our environment and trying to conserve energy (among other things) is an act of defiance against the Living God. Friends, the Lord will take care of everything. God made the Earth and the Heavens and if He wants to destroy it all, He will! In fact, one of the things that makes folks True Christians™ in the first place is that we are PRAYING for the destruction of this planet. You see, God actually wants us to use up all the resources, because when everything is gone, it will signal the return of sweet Jesus to come kill all the Muslims, Catholics, Mormons, Hindus and Tree-Hugger-know-it-alls. If we don't end the world, God will just end it Himself. We've got to do our duty to speed up the process. The Bible says that God has given the world and everything in it for man to use. God wants us to do with it whatever we please! From Genesis, Chapter 1:26 we learn that God has given us dominion over "every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth!" So much for endangered species! That's why we have an Endangered Species Dinner each year here at Landover! To celebrate God's love for wild game hunters! And show that God has given us any species or plant we want to eat, even if it happens to be the last of its kind! Amen? In Genesis Chapter 1:29, the Lord continues letting us know that he has given us "every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth." And we just learned recently that plants create the air we breathe. God is telling us then, that we can use up the air in any way we see fit! Once the air is gone, it just means that Jesus will come back, so the more pollution, the better! Glory! In verse 30 of the same chapter, He affirms the fact that we have dominion over "every single living thing on earth," and our environment is a living thing! Folks, that means we can do whatever we want with anything we like! If we use it all up, we have to have faith that the Lord will return and provide for us again. If you follow God's rules, supply and demand doesn't mean a lick. I think I speak for the Lord here, when I say, "use it or lose it." Oh, ye of little faith! Don't you know that God can simply sweep his robe across the clouds and create clean air again, if He wills it?

Friends, I'm going to get a little controversial now, but someone has to speak the truth. The sissy Christians who pick and choose whatever Bible verse they like to fit their latest agenda will burn in Hell and give off just as pleasing a scent to the nostrils of the Lord as any hell bound, America hating Muslim will. It is these pansy, false Christians whose liberal ideas are polluting the spiritual truth of God's Word. I'll say it now, and I'll say it again and again! If you are a True Christian™, you shouldn't be recycling. True Christians™ shouldn't be attending Global Warming rallies, or be celebrating Earth Day. True Christians™ understand that worrying about such things, or supporting such efforts is in direct conflict with the Word of God! Friends, we can sum up our Evangelical stand on "Conservation" by making all these fancy scientifical types understand one truth: That is if Jesus can feed five thousand people with two stinky fish and five loaves of stale bread, He can certainly turn the lights back on and make clean air by just burping! Oh, Glory! Glory!

I ask that you share this message with your brothers and sisters in Christ who are not blessed enough to attend our Godly church. Rebuke them strongly for taking an interest in the fate of our planet! Tell them you are ashamed at their lack of faith and share some of the Scriptures I've shared with you here. Satan has shifted his trickery into high gear during these last days. He'll do anything he can do to deter you from keeping on the straight and narrow path to Heaven. He is trying everything he can to make your mind wander into worldy concerns and get you to stop warning people about the only real threat to humanity! That threat, we know from the New Testament is God's threat! Friends, getting a faster tan and a little extra sunshine from Global Warming, doesn't hold a candle to having the skin boiled off one's body by bubbling lava in the Lake of Fire! And that fact, my Godly brothers and sisters in Christ, should be more disconcerting than anything Lucifer and his army of hook-nosed liberals and pointy-tailed demons can pull out of their fancy behinds!

You trully are demonic...
Destroying our world...
If I could I would beat the crap out of every single one of you.

[Marshall]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

Look here you queer, just because you don't like it or because some egghead says it's "killing the planet" doesn't mean Jesus doesn't approve of doing it. All those professor types base their learning on evilotion anyways so their logic is flawed at the foundation unlike the Bible whose foundation is as solid as The Rock of Righteousness.

Destroying the world is a personal opinion like being gay and mortal man has no place telling God He's wrong about whats in the Bible. All those sciensatanists are doing is trying to stop good folks from handling their property as they see fit. Because they are all communists and atheists so you know they are functionally retarded at the very least. You should have seen the hippies and goths throwing a fit when I burned down the old McKaskill place on my south end. I filled that house with tires and barn wood and bags of filth I took out of the trailers when I upgraded from negros to Mexicans. Smelled terrible and you could see the smoke clear into town. Negros always leave a mess when they leave. What am I supposed to do with 58 tires and 147 bags of old clothes and kitchen trash? I would have had to pay the dump to take it or bury it myself and Lord knows I hate digging new trash pits especially because the only place I can dig them is down by the creek and the dirt gets real muddy after the first 4 feet.

Brother Nobar I completely understand about the chainsaw and lawn mower. I have to run my tractors and toppers during the down season to keep the oil in the top end. I do the same for my car collection.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

You trully are demonic...
Destroying our world...
If I could I would beat the crap out of every single one of you.

If it be God’s Will that the earth increase in heat, then so be it. Demoncrat politicians, leaders of false churches and heathens speak of defying God’s Will.

It is man’s duty to help God by following wherever He leads.

We have seen in the past God produce floods, famine, death, disaster and all of this has lead to the happiness that is on earth today. Without God none of this would have happened and for this we thank Him and rejoice that His Plan is Great and Unstoppable.

Thus if it be so that there is Global Warming, is it not of the Lord and is it not His Will?

[the know nothing]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

Look here you queer, just because you don't like it or because some egghead says it's "killing the planet" doesn't mean Jesus doesn't approve of doing it. All those professor types base their learning on evilotion anyways so their logic is flawed at the foundation unlike the Bible whose foundation is as solid as The Rock of Righteousness.

Destroying the world is a personal opinion like being gay and mortal man has no place telling God He's wrong about whats in the Bible. All those sciensatanists are doing is trying to stop good folks from handling their property as they see fit. Because they are all communists and atheists so you know they are functionally retarded at the very least. You should have seen the hippies and goths throwing a fit when I burned down the old McKaskill place on my south end. I filled that house with tires and barn wood and bags of filth I took out of the trailers when I upgraded from negros to Mexicans. Smelled terrible and you could see the smoke clear into town. Negros always leave a mess when they leave. What am I supposed to do with 58 tires and 147 bags of old clothes and kitchen trash? I would have had to pay the dump to take it or bury it myself and Lord knows I hate digging new trash pits especially because the only place I can dig them is down by the creek and the dirt gets real muddy after the first 4 feet.

Brother Nobar I completely understand about the chainsaw and lawn mower. I have to run my tractors and toppers during the down season to keep the oil in the top end. I do the same for my car collection.

Destroying the world affects us all.Even the ones who don't believe on your crap!
You're only lucky because there isn't a god who can summon lightning to burn all of you...
I'm praying for that
I'm so sorry you didn't stayed in that house you burned

[Nobar King]

Re: What Can True Christians™ Do To Speed Up Global Warming?

Destroying the world affects us all.Even the ones who don't believe on your crap!
You're only lucky because there isn't a god who can summon lightning to burn all of you...
I'm praying for that
I'm so sorry you didn't stayed in that house you burned

Are you calling for God to destroy the ozone layer?